Letter to my Phone Pouch

Dear Nite Ize,
Why did you move to plastic clips on your pouches?
This is the second one I've broken on a lift.
I <3 belt loops.
Please bring them back.
Your Valentine,
That One Guy

Letter to Auto Ring

Dear Auto Ring,
You cost me a gig by not ringing a number that you were instructed to always ring. You are dead to me.
Get off my phone,
That One Guy