52 Thoughts About 26 years

(This is a long blog that goes no where but some info maybe gleaned from it but only for those with true grit)

1. Nails references are never as cool on paper (be it electronic or otherwise) as I hope they will be.
   

2. My handwriting is in a subset of unreadable. Though I print, having been told by multiple education professionals to do so over a decade ago, it still has a style that borders on 'arthritic chimp holding a pencil with its feet' and 'trying to write with your off hand because you won't buy into the whole right handed domination'. Funny thing it's nothing new. In Kindergarten I remember the teacher commenting that I needed to practice handwriting more.

3. I can't trust my teenage self. Even though I defer to those memories for help I can't trust his instincts. Same goes for my preteen self (meaning years before I was a teen not the strange category we have these days of tween. Can't we just have it done with and come up with some new cultural coming of age ceremony? The Driver's License use to be it but nowadays could it be lowering the tattoo age to 16ish and just let kids do that? Sign of rebellion and regrettable youth in one foul stroke. The true passage into adulthood.)

4. If it weren't for peer pressure I wouldn't be in theater. I also probably wouldn't have contacts, drink coffee or try my hand at writing occasionally
   

5. Making lists is not as much fun as it was in 11^th grade.
   

6. Despite being a fan of Jethro Tull since I was a wee one I have yet to see one of their concerts. Something has always come up when I could. The top three: 1) No car to get to concert but enough money for a ticket. 2) No money for a ticket but a car to get me there. 3) No car or money for a ticket. This past time I had work.

7. The whole beer before liquor thing.
   Don't care. Never have never will but maybe I should? Those are decisions one should make sober and not after having had a half dozen.

8. My favorite color hasn't change since I was a kid. Did go through a phase where people thought it was black or grey but in truth I was preparing for my future career.

9. When I was 17 I took close to two hundred postcards that advertised the (then) upcoming movie 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'. Despite using them occasionally for years I still had over 100 of them last year. I recycled most of them but kept about 20. I'm that kind of pack rat

10. There are people who were incredible influences on my life who I don't talk to anymore and probably won't talk to anytime soon. Even if I did talk to them I worry it might be very weird to talk about the trivial things that occurred that I took as being important. It'd be kind of anticlimactic. Much like an email I received from someone I went to high school with telling me how I influenced and changed their life. There's no good come back for that especially since my response was, 'That's great… I guess.'

11. Wandering around alone in the middle of the night usually means you're drunk, homeless, crazy or a combination of the three. Doesn't matter where you do it people have the same reaction of giving you space. Even if I'm stone cold sober with a place to live and an accepted mental status. This does not apply to drunk, homeless or crazy people who engage me in long deep conversations when I'm just taking a walk to clear my mind.

12. I've taken something from nearly every show/job I've done. Most of the time it's something really small and meaningless that I lose in a few days but other times it's something huge like my banner from TWATS (that's 'The World According To Snoopy') or yellow star from 'The Diary of Anne Frank' it's a klepto tick I have.

13. I really should have been a comic book geek. In fact I lament the fact I never was. Nowadays I just can't get into them except the realistic slice of life comics but I can find webcomics that are free instead of waiting for a monthly issue and spending money.

14. Collections are never cool at the beginning. Right now I'm starting my collection of stickers, bracelets or other indications (that aren't tshirts I'm starting to have too many local crew shirts) of me crewing a show. It's lame when you only have 2 stickers, a lanyard and a bunch of wristbands (I'm throwing out the paper wristbands that don't say who the group is) but in a few years it'll be a cool collection.

15. I can't get away from the nerd stigma of having been in Math Club and Chess Club. No matter how cool I may think I am there are pictures, somewhere, of me in each of those.

16. My days of enjoying conversations about RPG related topics are hopefully done. I'm sure I'll engage in them occasionally but lately I've witnessed a few of them and just been bored. I do find the passion those people debate the issue to be admirable but it's not for me… any more… with luck.

17. I like the number 17. It's not my favorite number because that's a bit asinine but it's a good number

18. I'm never going to be the right age for fitting in. For some reason I'm either too old or too young. And if I am by chance the right age I act to much in one direction or the other. Character faults I'm well aware.

19. Having non sequitur references to things don't make you funny, interesting or anything of that sort. But having a stream of conscience thought process has lead me into situations where I have to explain how I got to that place.

20. No one should reunite ever. Under no circumstances. Ever. But if they do do it right like the Rolling Stones or Van Halen. But if it's become apparent it's some kind of money raising scheme just give it up. Like The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Grateful Dead.

21. Stop trying to convince people to dig deeper with 'Fear and Loathing'. If they want to see a drug movie they're going to see a drug movie. No convincing on the death of idealism that came with both the end of the Sixties and in the latter half of the '90s will resonate with some people.

22. There are worse things than being remembered for having one work of art that was considered great early in your career. And I'm not sure if being a neverwas is one of them.

23. Putting 'O-matic' on things I build isn't as much fun as it use to be.

24. The Columbine Massacre affected me more than I can fully express. There were (and probably still are) quite a few similarities between Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, and myself.

25. I'm not sure if "Weird" Al was ever funny. Sure I found (and still find) some of his work amusing and respect his ability to parody but I'm not sure if he was ever that funny. He was good in 'UHF' but so was the rest of the cast. Got to say that his medleys of songs in polka form are my favorites. But no matter what is said about the man he does a good stage show.

26. In order to be able to win future bets I learned most of the lyrics to 'It's the end of the world as we know it'. So far that bet hasn't happened and I haven't broken down and sung it at a karaoke night.

27. I will go to an ATM, get money, find a way to get some change and give some money to a busker but I won't give a kid with a sign that says 'Punch me in the face 5 bucks' any money unless they let me bash them with a hammer.

28. Even though Punk could be consider dead there are plenty of people that will say it's not. Given the socio-economical forces that help create the first punk movement I wouldn't be too surprised if another one gets started… or the February Revolution for that matter… but where would we find a Czar at this hour?

29. No matter how good I get at an arcade game some one will always be better. Often someone younger than me and they will rub in how much I suck. Exception: Back in '99/ early '00 I spent a lot of time getting good at 'Area 51' in Corbett Center's arcade. I may not have been better than everyone but I knew the first couple levels so well I could drink a soda and still get a high streak.
    Yeah I was a really cool freshman.

30. I should have become a musical theater geek. Because the straight male musical theater geek has such low probabilities of occurring I'd fill an odd kind of niche.
    
31. I've met more famous people than I realize.

32. No decade is as 'cool' as it's remembered. Now if you get into movements that lasted closer to a generation (20 years) I might be will to get onto that turnip truck.

33. Huell Howser is a fluke of success and should be envied but not recreated. He's some kind of low cost advertising campaign for California. I suppose those are called grass roots now but it still means low budget.

34. Max Fleischer should be remembered a bit more than he is. Just a bit more perhaps not on the level of Tex Avery or Chuck Jones but he was good in his own right.

35. My nicknames tend to suck.

36. I should have become a music geek so I could either have a better than thou sense when dealing with modern music or the paradoxical love/hate relationship that record collectors tend to have.

37. Old blues or jazz artists are cooler than I can ever hope to be.

38. 'Shock Treatment' and 'Grease 2' have things going for them that the originals never had. Perhaps it's the campy songs or the overall feeling of the films that should never be staged but they are just good in ways the originals may never be.

39. If you grab life by the teats you can milk success so thoroughly a fan base will respect you even if you never get to the same place you were with your one break out success. In other words: I envy Kevin Smith and Alfred Jarry.

40. Greatest response to 'There's no "I" in team': 'But there is "me at work" in "teamwork"'. Thank you Minister Faust and your unique brand of Sci-Fi. [That quote is not sic because I don't have a copy of 'From the Notebook of Doctor Brain' were the quote appears and while I do have 'Coyote Kings of the Space Age Bachelor Pad' I don't have it with me and if I did it'd do me no good.

41. I'd sooner become a vegetarian then try to keep kosher. At least when I fail being a vegetarian it doesn't count as failing my faith.

42. People don't try to convert me to their faith as much anymore. Lately it's been more of their political views. Which leads me to wonder if politics is the new religion… at least for this year?

43. My earliest complete memory is when I was three and bragging about talking in complete sentences. This is odd since I doubt I understood what that meant but I still bragged.

44. In some ways I'm a movie geek. It's more like I'm Sublet from Gibson's 'Virtual Light'. I can sum up plots and name some actors and then relate a few connections, look for god in the film and that jive. But not a true movie geek.

45. In '95 I saw a play called 'The Late Great Me' telling the story of a girl's descent into social ruin by the dangers of alcohol. I really like the title and use it in my inner dialogue sometimes and here's the kicker especially when drinking.

46. The first time I heard 'Smells like Teen Spirit' I thought there were a lot of potato references. And in '94 when a classmate had a memorial to Kurt Cobain I couldn't help but laugh at bit thinking of that when he played 'Smells like Teen Spirit'.

47. I saw 'Blues Brothers 2000' in the theaters. It was fairly close to opening weekend and it wasn't at an odd ball time like first or last showing but the theater was empty except me and maybe 3 people. Same thing happened with 'Biodome'.

48. I've only had one job I've done consistently in my life and that is being a stage tech. Number two is working at McDonald's.

49. I was a computer geek when it was a lot easier to be a computer geek. Knowing what a baud rate was enough. If not that then simple things like RAM and how to read software requirements. Nowadays it's so hard I don't even try.

50. There are a few songs which I've heard the radio edits of so much that the actual version just doesn't sound right. Violent Femmes have a few songs on that short list.

51. There are certain hobbies that are cool when you're good at them and quite lame when you're not. Those can include: magic, yo-yoing, juggling and impressions. Thankfully I gave up most of those before trying to show off my half formed talent which was still in the lame range.

52. Fifty Two pick up is a really one sided game.

Big Money, Big Money, No Whammy, No Whammy…STOP!

What happened to game shows?

Not the evening ones, those were always hot beds of anticipation, excitement and perhaps a little too much spectacle. After all when a game of Jeopardy gets going… watch out it may get crazy, especially if it's one of the easier versions where plenty of people get into fights because they actually know an answer. The over heard mumblings of treadmillin' folks during the high school/college tournaments.

And only now do I finally get to see Drew Carey on 'The Price is Right' and I'm a bit under whelmed. Much like when Louis Anderson left 'Family Feud' and was replaced by Richard Karn, I'm just not feeling it. Anderson seemed to hate the whole situation and just want to be out of there for the day. Karn returned it to the standard game show roots of 'fun', enthusiastic hosts. I like my hosts to seem bitter with the situation, which Anderson did so well.

Then again his act did that too. Even his cartoon 'Life with Louis' had that feel of melancholy fondness for his youth… or fictionalized youth at any rate. There was a joy to be had from a melancholy protagonist that wasn't Charlie Brown.

Still gone are the days of the game show hosts that had that over the top dated tv style. Now it's comedians, actors and never forget the monstrosity of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' with this devil like host of Regis. 'Well you're damned right I want that million but I have no life lines, have no idea what the answer is but I guess I could trade you my soul.'

It's weird to write the lines 'Monty Hall save me from these monstrosities' but there it is. But with 'The Game Show Network', if that thing even exists anymore, showing what was and movies (okay it was a while ago) like 'Quiz Show' revealing the seedy underbelly of these programs were does that leave people like me?

Well I'll tell you: I can name that tune in one note.

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Now playing: Why Don't You Get A Job - The Offspring
via FoxyTunes

Post Modern Psychosomatic Syndrome

There's plenty of programs I shouldn't watch. Sitcoms (because I'll be sucked in), reality Tv (because I'll be upset and sucked in), local morning news (just too damned amusing), blocks of pseudo science programming and medical oddity shows. Not because I'll end up thinking I have those diseases. Let's face it those show focus on people that are statistically anomalies. I shouldn't watch them because I become highly aware I don't have that disorder in order to make sure I'm damned sure I don't have it.

See the thing is I'm pretty susceptible to suggestion. The weird part is I know I am going to end up influenced by that sort of thing and go to lengths to make sure that I know so much that I'm damned sure I can't be influenced by it. Take West Nile… the virus not the region. Beside traveling to Egypt and standing to the west of the Nile River I have no idea what else that region would have in it. Probably the same shit they have on the east side but if one side is better than the other there will be problems.
Stupid direction based feelings of exclusivity.

Still no matter how you slice it when there were rumblings of the beginning of the epidemic, which I was lead to believe would be a pandemic, I went out of my way to find out everything I could. Same thing with Bird Flu, went so far as to not eat Peeps that Easter… not really because while Peeps aren't all that great there's a sick sick joy in eating something shaped like a small bird. But microwaving Peeps while very amusing can go to places where most people were not meant to tread.
And it usually involves microwaving plenty of other things… some which shouldn't be microwaved.

When I don't go out of my way to avoid becoming influenced I will sometimes become influenced in odd ways. Usually it's an odd sort of obsession that can morph into a kind of trivia gathering machine. But not in a bad way, it'd work out better if I did pub quizzes or quiz shows or pub shows. As hobbies go it's not the worst one I've ever had. I'd rather not have to remember some really odd hobby I had for a day just to prove my point which is I don't own a suggestion Box for a good reason.

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Now playing: My Name Is Jonas - Weezer
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New Years Aught Seven

Last New Year's answered two questions for me:
One) Does mixing liquor into a chocolate fountain make it an even more enjoyable experience? Yes... yes it does but the whole chocolate fountain is a fun experience to begin with. Even though I'm not a huge fan of chocolate it's great to dunk things in it and try different things and have people look at you weird as curiosity wins out and the discovery of chocolate covered chips is made. Kind of makes me feel like the guys at carnivals much feel as they chuck another batered thing into the frier and hand it off to someone in need of artery clogging goodness.

Two) Can you get away with using a lambic as a champagne subsitute? This is a regretable no. People are so steeped in some form of tradition that to raise a glass of a fruit lambic instead of a cheap bottle of sparkling white wine just doesn't work. Who cares if you've been drinking beers and hard liquor since 8 when the moment comes suddenly everyone is a critic and will ask the question, 'Where's the champagne?' And to try and explain that I know nothing about champagne or wine that while I standing in the wine section of the Cypress BevMo I felt like a fool. A fool holding a bottle of Cooks and a bottle of Korbel. Muttering names and looking at the bottles. No indicating of which is good or bad and with my lackluster understanding of wine leaving me to feel so far out of my element. Only by rushing to the beer section and finding my salavation in a bottle of lambic did I make it out somewhat alive.

Well that's not true but I made it out without having to pause and ask an employee which should I buy. True if I had done that the whole champagne fiasco would have been allevated but then I'd be known as the champagne guy. And I had worked long and hard to be known as 'The young guy that comes in with that old guy and buys 10-30 dollars of beer and hard liquor every friday and sometimes strolls in mid week buys a beer and moxie, exchanges some banter and leaves.' or more likely, 'the guy who spends more money here than at the grocery store' and I worked long and hard to get those.
Still the lambic was good... or I thought it was good... I think.

Thought I could segue this into some of my goals for last year, perhaps some retelling my resolutions or some nonsense of that but I'm not going to fall for such shenigans. No, not today. I can't. Not on Rex Manning day.

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Now playing: Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite! - The Beatles
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Meeting a Legend

Before I left Long Beach I drove across the bridge to San Pedro and visited Bukowski's grave. Didn't learn anything great or interesting from it. Hell I didn't even bring along a drink and toast him. Instead I sat there on a chilly February day and thought about my life and if I had the courage to continue with my current choices. And no answers came to me on that late winter day.

But what did I expect from a corpse?

I started working on a show that has an interesting concept but could have used 3 more tech rehearsals and a stage manager but that's not the point. It ends tomorrow and before long I'll have forgotten about ths show like most of the others except one thing:
Artis the Spoonman.

Come on don't tell me you don't remember Soundgarden? The song 'Spoonman' not ringing a bell? How could it not, after all that guy felt 'the rhythm with his hands.'

But he is performing in this show and today I had brief conversation with him and the professional kept it on the level and didn't give some kind of gushing compliments about his playing and asking questions about his life and telling him I remember hearing 'Spoonman' on KROQ in the 90s and while I'd always thinking of 'Black Hole Sun' when someone mentioned Soundgarden it'd be 'Spoonman' I prefered.
Kind of sucks to be a professional sometimes. But it does save embarrassment.

But he still told me I did a good job and thanked me for my hard work and I told he did a really good job. He seemed to smirk and I got back to setting up some run lights. Not the greatest situation but later I did go back and have a moment of shock and awe (the good kind) And maybe it meant something and maybe it didn't. Probably overall he was being nice like most performers try to be when they see techs working hard but no matter what else I take from this show I did get to meet the Spoonman.

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Now playing: Vincent Price - Ramshackle
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Cashing in my Cynic Cred:

Or Getting Sentimental with a Christmas Special

Complaining about Christmas specials is the realm of lousy comedians. And while I never considering myself a comedian to start with and while it's out of fashion I won't be debasing myself by doing some kind of monologue on the problem with beginning a holiday celebration nearly a month before the holiday. But will allow myself the closer of ' but why can't we start Carnivale a month early?'... or even celebrate Carnivale for that matter.

The worst winter holiday special ever is 'The Weekenders Holiday Special'. In typical fashion each of the early winter celebrations has to be represented and each of the prinicpal characters must celebrate one of them. And it tells how horrible those times were and even this one is bearble despite being trapped in an RV away from family it's okay because they're with friends... and then they end up eatting each other to stay alive.
Not really but it's better than the real ending. Very foreseeable but still better than the original.

It's more of a longing to do the same ice show I did last year which was based off the same source material as the ice show I did the previous 2 years. So when I ended up watching 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' I couldn't help but miss those times. Sure going from Halloween to Christmas before Thanksgiving occurs (hey I just named three holidays in 5 words) was a pain in the ass and I hated that change over each and every year. Dreading it as much as the hang over I was more than assured on Dia de los Muertos but at least that would end in less than 8 hours where as the change over would take weeks.
Oh the days of getting to wake up early, go in before dark and freeze my ass off on an ice floor. Which beside the ice floor and waking up early is like this year.

Maybe it's homesickness, or the20 degree low I get to face in the coming days, or the fern like frost on my car when I leave for work or Stockholm Syndrome but I can't help but miss the show I'd worked on for three years when watching the 'Charlie Brown Christmas'.

Either way I'm going to have to gather the booze and make me some 'Punched in the Face by Santa'. Yep whiskey, peppermint Schapps, egg nog and whatever else I want to add in. This year I think some red liquor would be good but only time and a trip to the liquor store will tell.
Now that'll add Secular Early Winter Cheer to any situation.

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Now playing: American Music - Violent Femmes
via FoxyTunes

Mistaken Fiction and Taquitos

It could have been a Wednesday. I often had those off and the chances of me actually doing some shopping would have been high if it was a Wednesday. In the cluttered room of a place called 'Planet Book' entranced by Wilson High School year books and contemplating whether or not to buy Phillip K. Dick books or the unknown scifi novels that were mixed in between. Distracted by the smell of Tommy's chili cheese fries I set most of the stack down and pay for one book. Assuming I was buying 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep' I pay, cross Anahiem and get myself some taquitos.
Not as good as I remember them being when I was a kid. Then again they also painted over the Mexican caricature that someone would often channel some muse and add a large joint to his waving hand. I suppose white primer is a bit better than a large fattie on a sign welcoming people to your taco stand but there is some kind of tradition in driving down (or maybe it was up) Termino and looking to see if the joint was there or not. I use to play that game, amongst others.

Weeks, maybe months, later I would be on Hollywood, spending a bit of time and in a moment of fleeting fancy I pay the tab to go into the wax museum. Outside I don't remember seeing a space ship accross the street but I know the cover art for this book comes to mind each time I happened on that street in Southern California. Luckily I don't go there much but the few times I did I can't but wonder about Space Nazis from Hell or the potential of travel between planets in the '50s or even if having a trait that distinguishes your jobs is a good thing. I did it for a bit.
When I was a deck hand I drank cape cods, rum and cokes or well drinks, as an ASM I drank beer, SM it was whiskey and it got a little confusing after a few drinks and all. So I gave it up. But occasionally I want to get that back but I think I'd need some kind of cheat sheet to keep it all straight. At least until I learned my systems.

I'm not going to talk this book up. Call it the greatest thing since the dictionary or any of that jive but it's an interesting read. Has a lot going for it and if nothing else presents some things that could have almost happened. It seems more fun to think of a world this way especially since Sputnik has hit half a century and beside leading to the birth of a global communication and information infrastructure the space race never made good on it's promises. Except the spy satellite ones it's gave us those in spades.

Still the space race did better than the time I found 'Everything is Illuminated' in a parking lot by a movie theatre and hoped for a repeat of 'Terminal Freedom'. Sure it was a good enough read but it didn't have the same surprise as accidently buying an unknown book instead of an acclaimed work of fiction.

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Now playing: Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley
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