[Thirty-nine secrets about yourself]

[One] What is your natural hair color?
Dark Brown but lately I’ve been noticing some grey in it. I’m getting older and I’m not sure if that’s cool. Still have all my hair but getting older does present some problems. But if I’m getting older why am I still carded? Damn this baby face.

[Two] Where was your default picture taken?
Anjuné’s couch… I think. In fact I almost changed it just to spite her.

[Three] What's your middle name?
Benjamin

[Four] Your current relationship status?
odd at best

[Five] Does your crush like you back?
I think so, I’m not too sure. It feels like it but I don’t really know for sure.

[Six] What is your current mood?
Introspective going on drunk…well tipsy… not because of the introspective part but because I feel like it… I think. Jeez Can I try saying that without seeming like I have a substance abuse problem. I almost put I had a stressful week and that reads like something out of an AA handbook.

[Seven] What color underwear are you wearing?
Green I think, they might be blue… now I’m curious. Hang on a second. Nope Black.
I was way off

[Eight] What makes you happy?
When I make someone laugh, kind of lame, (admitted) but still it makes me feel good.

[Ten] If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
I alter the course of history and restore question 9 . A lame use of power I admit but I think it might be worth it. Instead I shall invent a 9

[Sal’s Nine] If you had to live without water or love which would it be?
Man could you take the Kelly Link out of the bathroom already. I realize ‘Water off a Black Dog’s Back’ is a good story but give it up. Put something else in there. I got an idea put the ‘Bukowski Reader’ in there then you can read about his life.
Dickass.

[Eleven] If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
Sloth? Yeah why not but like a more active sloth… or maybe a giant sloth I mean I’d be extinct but they were giant and sloth like. Regular Sloths are kind of cool in they’re own lazy way even if they don’t make use of those claws.

[Twelve] Ever had a near death experience?
I had an experience where I thought I should have a near death experience. I was changing some lighting stuff and had a pipe resting against the lift I was in, 20 feet in the air, and all the weight is against my lift’s bucket as I remove the shackle holding it to a rig point. At that moment I realize it’d be a great moment for me to have a near death experience.
But I didn’t.

[Thirteen] Was it because of something you do a lot?
No but I started wondering when I began taking risks like that.

[Fourteen] What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
The Gambler or Ana Ng but I’m going to say the Gambler to not be all nerd rock.

[Fifteen] Who did you copy and paste this from?
Anjuné

[Sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Taisha we’re birthday buddies.

[Seventeen] When was the last time you cried?
I don’t know, a while ago.

[Eighteen] Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yes, I played Nachum the beggar in DALO’s production of Fiddler on the Roof in Las Cruces, NM. That was back in ’03 I think. Nothing like being cast by the director asking if you wanted to be an inn keeper, book seller or beggar, what else can I do but choose the beggar.

[Nineteen] If you could have one super power what would it be?
Telepathy or this new one I proposed to my friend Bob which was the ability to affect probability.

[Twenty] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Literally the first thing would be if they have all their arms and legs yeah after that it boils down to some other physical feature depending on how close I am. Vague yeah but I don’t want to admit that I judge people on superficial features and would rather say something like ‘eyes’ or ‘smile’ but I don’t know if that’s true each person in a new story… also hair color I notice that pretty fair up the list.

[Twenty-one] What do you usually order from starbucks?
Grande drip no room. On the rare occasion I feel experimental grande drip no room with a shot or four could be a shot in the dark, a red eye or something else like that but it’s the same kind of thing.

[Twenty-two] What's your biggest secret?
I’m not as calm and together as I’d like to believe I am.

[Twenty-three] Favorite color?
Green. Has been since I was a kid will be forever unless I get hit in the head, become color blind and forget what colors look like then I’ll say grey.

[Twenty-four] When was the last time you lied?
Today, don’t ask me what it was but I’m sure I lied today even if it was along the lines of ‘that’s not possible’ which was actually ‘I can’t do that in that amount of time’

[Twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Duh, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends is kick ass.

[Twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Black Boss Porter, it is also kick ass.

[Twenty-seven] Do you speak any other language?
no but I know a few expression in Spanish

[Twenty-eight] What's your favorite smell?
Baking bread or the smell of salt water, put’em together and it’s awesome.

[Twenty-nine] If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Zen

[Thirty] When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
Last weekend.

[Thirty-one] Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Sure why not. I bet it happened at some point. I like the rain, I like kissing only natural I kissed someone in the rain. Next question.

[Thirty-two] What are you thinking about right now?
Why am I filling out this asinine survey isn’t there a better use of my time. In addition to that I’m wondering about my expenses, thinking about my trip and questioning a lot of choices I’ve made recently.

[Thirty-three] What should you be doing?
Sleeping, writing or playing a game

[Thirty-four] What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
Can we go with frustrated instead? Being asked to run a circuit to an electric despite the fact the theatre is out of cable longer than 10’ and I’d need enough to make a drop and if I use a bunch of smaller ones it’s not safe or a good idea so where can I pull 30’ of cable and right now out of my ass is not an option.
I made it work, somehow. But now I’m going to be expected to do it again sometime.

[Thirty-five] How often do you pray?
Heard something once that said something like for the faithful everything is prayer. While I don’t believe everything I do is an expression of prayer I do think that I pray more than I think I do. Then again there are times I do something risky and call out to something greater than myself (See #12)

[Thirty-six] Do you like working in the yard?
Not since it was a punishment as a kid.

[Thirty-seven] If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
How about I stick with mine, in someways is two last names depending on how I want it pronounced.

[Thirty-eight] Do you act differently around your crush?
I’d bet I do. Don’t want to admit I do but I do.

[Thirty-nine] Name one song that reminds you of an ex?
’Whoa Black Betty bam ba lam’ She better get it.

More things I learned from Teenage Sitcoms

1. Once accepted into a clique you may leave temporarily but ultimately you have to go back.
2. The personable, cool, hip, role model will be a hypocrite
3. A bad hair cut can spell social ruin
1. A true understanding of acceptance will be learned.
4. Younger Siblings are annoying; older siblings are cool
1. Both will lead to embarrassing situations.
5. With a Driver's License comes a car
1. Or the prospect of rebuilding one during a montage
2. Gas will never be a concern.
6. The one unobtainable person will choose an unexpected person to go with at the last moment. Claiming they (the unobtainable one) always thought they (the loser) was cool.
7. Drinking and drugs are always bad.
8. If you have a band and never practice you will be good when called upon to play
9. If you are in style you will always be in style. Unfortunately the opposite is also true.
10. Elaborate pranks are easy to execute and there are no repercussions.
11. Everyone has their day.
1. If you aren't part of the main cast you may not be seen again after your day.
12. Janitors, lunch ladies, groundskeepers and other support staff are walking fonts of wisdom
13. People will rally to your cause no matter how far the odds are against you.
14. Wearing a black leather jacket makes you a rebel.
1. Wearing a brown leather one makes you a poseur.

1. If it has fringe you are a megaloser.

A. Unless you are a girl then you are a hippy.

15. Single mothers returning to school will receive support from students, facility, friends and family.
16. Eventually someone will have a pregnancy scare but everything will turn out ok and be forgotten.
    
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    Now playing: Salute Your Shorts (theme song) - Tv Themes
    via FoxyTunes
    

What Teenage Sitcoms Taught Me About Life

1. Laziness and bad grades won’t keep you from a good college
2. All Classes are a few minutes long
3. Loitering in hallways is as acceptable as going to class
4. Your standard locker can fit at least one person.
5. A friendly rivalry with a teacher or administrator is inevitable but they are actually trying to instill some life lesson.
6. Hang outs don’t expect you to pay for food
7. Summer Jobs are sources of amusing antics
1. Or brief mention at the start of September
8. Don’t worry the blind date will be a probably be a hottie
1. If not an import lesson to not judge people based on appearance will ensue
9. Bullies can come around to you side and lead to interesting situations.
10. All cliques are clichéd stereotypes
11. A nerd can build extraordinary devices as needed.
12. The nerd girl can become a cutie but you’ve probably ruined your chances by then.
13. Seek popularity above all else
14. Teachers don’t mind if you drop by their houses unannounced to ask for help with life’s problems.
15. A group of strangers with different backgrounds will become friends if forced to be around each other long enough
16. The school will only ever perform Romeo and Juliet, Our Town or if you’re lucky A Christmas Carol.
17. Driver’s ed will either involve car mock ups and an old movie of driving or a golf car. Either way be prepared for hilarity
18. All shop students are delinquents but their skills will come in handy when a party trashes someone’s house or car
19. The slang will beyond cutting edge
20. Once accepted into a clique you may leave temporarily but ultimately you have to go back.

Things Music Videos from the 90s taught me

(Note: I wrote this at midnight, dead tired after a long day and didn't proof it before I posted it. Feedback about how I screwed up spellings, or context or band names is fine and I'm well aware I suck. I usually do some proofing before I post and I didn't this time. Corrections are in red.-SP)

Despite saying making lists isn't as much fun I'm starting to do it again.

1. Rusty pipes contain meat (Tool - Sober)

2. If you catch your S.O .cheating get a naval piercing, kick a purse snatcher's ass and bungee jump off an overpass. You'll feel better. (Aerosmith - Cryin')

3. Right now is harder than it looks. (Van Halen - Right now)

4. 70s cop shows may go out of vogue but they hardly go out of fashion (Beastie Boys – Sabotage)

5. If you play the VFW's dance and don't feel you'll connect with them. Just ask if they like the music you like and they should come around. (Violent Femmes – American Music)

6. When the artist puts themselves in a cameo role it can be cool. Two cameo roles and a featured part are excessive. (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – Into the Great Wide Open)

7. Banned videos are often incredibly over hyped and not very cool (Madonna – Justify my Love)

8. And sometimes they are damned cool. (Prodigy – Smack my Bitch Up)

9. If you light someone on fire and have them run down the street in slow motion the end of the video becomes pointless (Wax – California)

10. Some videos need a shot for shot parody and get it (Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit & Red Hot Chili Peppers – Give it away)

11. And some never do (REM – Losing my Religion)

12. Sometimes death is confusing, as well as marriage (Guns and Roses – November Rain)

13. Singing a song about large posteriors whilst dancing upon one makes me question the current nobility (also it is awesome). (Sir Mix-a-lot – Baby got Back)

14. Don't believe urban legends. They aren't the Olson Twins. (Nirvana – Heart-Shaped Box)

15. If you are an outsider and search hard enough you'll find a place where people are like you. (No Rain – Blind Melon)

16. Videos that look like they were made by a bunch of suburban teens bored on a Saturday are cool only when you first see them and when watching them through nostalgic lenses. (Gin Blossoms – Hey Jealous, Green Day – Longview)

17. Just because it's expensive doesn't mean it has anything to do with that song… actually what is that song about? (Michael and Janet Jackson – Scream)

18. Posthumous success and advancing technology can put a departed band member in a video as though they were stuck down and became more powerful than you can possibly imagine. (Sublime – Santeria)

19. Yes 'A Trip to the Moon' was an awesome silent film (Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight, Tonight)

20. It may not be art blatant double entendres and make up that makes people look like toy cowboys but it should be. (Primus – Wionna's Big Brown Beaver)

21. Having a mostly female band play amongst a group of naked men is an example of gender equality. And sexual exploitation (Elastica – Connection)

22. Happy Days is cool when you combine episodes and when Fonzie Dances (Weezer – Buddy Holly)

23. It would be cool living in an old style Hollywood musical for a day or two. Week at the most. (Björk – It's Oh So Quiet)

24. Living in the suburbs could cause a black hole to form (Soundgarden – Blackhole Sun)

25. Because variety shows don't exist anymore (beside a couple like Sabado Gigante) musicians are forced to create their own (Dandy Warhols – Not if you were the Last Junkie on Earth, Squirrel Nut Zippers – Hell, Mike Flowers Pop Orchestra – Wonderwall)

26. Some siblings have confusing relationships (Len – Steal my Sunshine)
    

27. My elementary school had a really under funded drama program (Crash Test Dummies – Mmm Mmm Mmm)

28. Men's restrooms are so much more disgusting than women's. (No Doubt - Just a Girl)

29. Despite getting instructions I never learned that damned dance (Will Smith – Men in Black)

30. Guerilla Dance groups need to take themselves less seriously (Fatboy Slim – Praise You)

31. Confusion is all down to perspective (Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity)

32. Planning is the trademark of a master criminal (Jane's Addiction – Been Caught Stealing)

33. Throwing someone to the sharks at an aquarium and then playing a song in front of the tank is not a good use of your time before the police arrive. (Duran Duran – Come Undone)

34. PSAs would be more effective if they rocked. (Megadeth – 99 Ways to Die)

35. Loading up the micro bus and going to the middle of nowhere is a good way to turn a week end into a month (Rusted Root – Send Me on My Way)

36. If your buddy doesn't take 2 as advice just chill and finish your soda (Blink 182 – Dammit)

37. After how hotel rooms are portrayed any one who cleans them should be canonized. (Joan Osborne – St. Teresa)

38. If they're playing this I guess someone in the band died (Grateful Dead – Touch of Grey)

39. Opening acts won't have a problem if you just show up and steal their slot (Save Ferris – Come on Eileen)

40. If I shave my head, get a black turtle neck, sit in the back seat and buy booze for a pack of teenagers I could easily make this a reality. (Smashing Pumpkins – 1979)
    

41. With the right car and clothes everywhere you go becomes an old style dance party. (Fastball –The Way)

42. Music videos are the new milk cartons (Soul Asylum – Runaway Train)

52 Thoughts About 26 years

(This is a long blog that goes no where but some info maybe gleaned from it but only for those with true grit)

1. Nails references are never as cool on paper (be it electronic or otherwise) as I hope they will be.
   

2. My handwriting is in a subset of unreadable. Though I print, having been told by multiple education professionals to do so over a decade ago, it still has a style that borders on 'arthritic chimp holding a pencil with its feet' and 'trying to write with your off hand because you won't buy into the whole right handed domination'. Funny thing it's nothing new. In Kindergarten I remember the teacher commenting that I needed to practice handwriting more.

3. I can't trust my teenage self. Even though I defer to those memories for help I can't trust his instincts. Same goes for my preteen self (meaning years before I was a teen not the strange category we have these days of tween. Can't we just have it done with and come up with some new cultural coming of age ceremony? The Driver's License use to be it but nowadays could it be lowering the tattoo age to 16ish and just let kids do that? Sign of rebellion and regrettable youth in one foul stroke. The true passage into adulthood.)

4. If it weren't for peer pressure I wouldn't be in theater. I also probably wouldn't have contacts, drink coffee or try my hand at writing occasionally
   

5. Making lists is not as much fun as it was in 11^th grade.
   

6. Despite being a fan of Jethro Tull since I was a wee one I have yet to see one of their concerts. Something has always come up when I could. The top three: 1) No car to get to concert but enough money for a ticket. 2) No money for a ticket but a car to get me there. 3) No car or money for a ticket. This past time I had work.

7. The whole beer before liquor thing.
   Don't care. Never have never will but maybe I should? Those are decisions one should make sober and not after having had a half dozen.

8. My favorite color hasn't change since I was a kid. Did go through a phase where people thought it was black or grey but in truth I was preparing for my future career.

9. When I was 17 I took close to two hundred postcards that advertised the (then) upcoming movie 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'. Despite using them occasionally for years I still had over 100 of them last year. I recycled most of them but kept about 20. I'm that kind of pack rat

10. There are people who were incredible influences on my life who I don't talk to anymore and probably won't talk to anytime soon. Even if I did talk to them I worry it might be very weird to talk about the trivial things that occurred that I took as being important. It'd be kind of anticlimactic. Much like an email I received from someone I went to high school with telling me how I influenced and changed their life. There's no good come back for that especially since my response was, 'That's great… I guess.'

11. Wandering around alone in the middle of the night usually means you're drunk, homeless, crazy or a combination of the three. Doesn't matter where you do it people have the same reaction of giving you space. Even if I'm stone cold sober with a place to live and an accepted mental status. This does not apply to drunk, homeless or crazy people who engage me in long deep conversations when I'm just taking a walk to clear my mind.

12. I've taken something from nearly every show/job I've done. Most of the time it's something really small and meaningless that I lose in a few days but other times it's something huge like my banner from TWATS (that's 'The World According To Snoopy') or yellow star from 'The Diary of Anne Frank' it's a klepto tick I have.

13. I really should have been a comic book geek. In fact I lament the fact I never was. Nowadays I just can't get into them except the realistic slice of life comics but I can find webcomics that are free instead of waiting for a monthly issue and spending money.

14. Collections are never cool at the beginning. Right now I'm starting my collection of stickers, bracelets or other indications (that aren't tshirts I'm starting to have too many local crew shirts) of me crewing a show. It's lame when you only have 2 stickers, a lanyard and a bunch of wristbands (I'm throwing out the paper wristbands that don't say who the group is) but in a few years it'll be a cool collection.

15. I can't get away from the nerd stigma of having been in Math Club and Chess Club. No matter how cool I may think I am there are pictures, somewhere, of me in each of those.

16. My days of enjoying conversations about RPG related topics are hopefully done. I'm sure I'll engage in them occasionally but lately I've witnessed a few of them and just been bored. I do find the passion those people debate the issue to be admirable but it's not for me… any more… with luck.

17. I like the number 17. It's not my favorite number because that's a bit asinine but it's a good number

18. I'm never going to be the right age for fitting in. For some reason I'm either too old or too young. And if I am by chance the right age I act to much in one direction or the other. Character faults I'm well aware.

19. Having non sequitur references to things don't make you funny, interesting or anything of that sort. But having a stream of conscience thought process has lead me into situations where I have to explain how I got to that place.

20. No one should reunite ever. Under no circumstances. Ever. But if they do do it right like the Rolling Stones or Van Halen. But if it's become apparent it's some kind of money raising scheme just give it up. Like The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Grateful Dead.

21. Stop trying to convince people to dig deeper with 'Fear and Loathing'. If they want to see a drug movie they're going to see a drug movie. No convincing on the death of idealism that came with both the end of the Sixties and in the latter half of the '90s will resonate with some people.

22. There are worse things than being remembered for having one work of art that was considered great early in your career. And I'm not sure if being a neverwas is one of them.

23. Putting 'O-matic' on things I build isn't as much fun as it use to be.

24. The Columbine Massacre affected me more than I can fully express. There were (and probably still are) quite a few similarities between Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, and myself.

25. I'm not sure if "Weird" Al was ever funny. Sure I found (and still find) some of his work amusing and respect his ability to parody but I'm not sure if he was ever that funny. He was good in 'UHF' but so was the rest of the cast. Got to say that his medleys of songs in polka form are my favorites. But no matter what is said about the man he does a good stage show.

26. In order to be able to win future bets I learned most of the lyrics to 'It's the end of the world as we know it'. So far that bet hasn't happened and I haven't broken down and sung it at a karaoke night.

27. I will go to an ATM, get money, find a way to get some change and give some money to a busker but I won't give a kid with a sign that says 'Punch me in the face 5 bucks' any money unless they let me bash them with a hammer.

28. Even though Punk could be consider dead there are plenty of people that will say it's not. Given the socio-economical forces that help create the first punk movement I wouldn't be too surprised if another one gets started… or the February Revolution for that matter… but where would we find a Czar at this hour?

29. No matter how good I get at an arcade game some one will always be better. Often someone younger than me and they will rub in how much I suck. Exception: Back in '99/ early '00 I spent a lot of time getting good at 'Area 51' in Corbett Center's arcade. I may not have been better than everyone but I knew the first couple levels so well I could drink a soda and still get a high streak.
    Yeah I was a really cool freshman.

30. I should have become a musical theater geek. Because the straight male musical theater geek has such low probabilities of occurring I'd fill an odd kind of niche.
    
31. I've met more famous people than I realize.

32. No decade is as 'cool' as it's remembered. Now if you get into movements that lasted closer to a generation (20 years) I might be will to get onto that turnip truck.

33. Huell Howser is a fluke of success and should be envied but not recreated. He's some kind of low cost advertising campaign for California. I suppose those are called grass roots now but it still means low budget.

34. Max Fleischer should be remembered a bit more than he is. Just a bit more perhaps not on the level of Tex Avery or Chuck Jones but he was good in his own right.

35. My nicknames tend to suck.

36. I should have become a music geek so I could either have a better than thou sense when dealing with modern music or the paradoxical love/hate relationship that record collectors tend to have.

37. Old blues or jazz artists are cooler than I can ever hope to be.

38. 'Shock Treatment' and 'Grease 2' have things going for them that the originals never had. Perhaps it's the campy songs or the overall feeling of the films that should never be staged but they are just good in ways the originals may never be.

39. If you grab life by the teats you can milk success so thoroughly a fan base will respect you even if you never get to the same place you were with your one break out success. In other words: I envy Kevin Smith and Alfred Jarry.

40. Greatest response to 'There's no "I" in team': 'But there is "me at work" in "teamwork"'. Thank you Minister Faust and your unique brand of Sci-Fi. [That quote is not sic because I don't have a copy of 'From the Notebook of Doctor Brain' were the quote appears and while I do have 'Coyote Kings of the Space Age Bachelor Pad' I don't have it with me and if I did it'd do me no good.

41. I'd sooner become a vegetarian then try to keep kosher. At least when I fail being a vegetarian it doesn't count as failing my faith.

42. People don't try to convert me to their faith as much anymore. Lately it's been more of their political views. Which leads me to wonder if politics is the new religion… at least for this year?

43. My earliest complete memory is when I was three and bragging about talking in complete sentences. This is odd since I doubt I understood what that meant but I still bragged.

44. In some ways I'm a movie geek. It's more like I'm Sublet from Gibson's 'Virtual Light'. I can sum up plots and name some actors and then relate a few connections, look for god in the film and that jive. But not a true movie geek.

45. In '95 I saw a play called 'The Late Great Me' telling the story of a girl's descent into social ruin by the dangers of alcohol. I really like the title and use it in my inner dialogue sometimes and here's the kicker especially when drinking.

46. The first time I heard 'Smells like Teen Spirit' I thought there were a lot of potato references. And in '94 when a classmate had a memorial to Kurt Cobain I couldn't help but laugh at bit thinking of that when he played 'Smells like Teen Spirit'.

47. I saw 'Blues Brothers 2000' in the theaters. It was fairly close to opening weekend and it wasn't at an odd ball time like first or last showing but the theater was empty except me and maybe 3 people. Same thing happened with 'Biodome'.

48. I've only had one job I've done consistently in my life and that is being a stage tech. Number two is working at McDonald's.

49. I was a computer geek when it was a lot easier to be a computer geek. Knowing what a baud rate was enough. If not that then simple things like RAM and how to read software requirements. Nowadays it's so hard I don't even try.

50. There are a few songs which I've heard the radio edits of so much that the actual version just doesn't sound right. Violent Femmes have a few songs on that short list.

51. There are certain hobbies that are cool when you're good at them and quite lame when you're not. Those can include: magic, yo-yoing, juggling and impressions. Thankfully I gave up most of those before trying to show off my half formed talent which was still in the lame range.

52. Fifty Two pick up is a really one sided game.